Quotes

Amusing things people have said to my friends and I and things that we've said to each other

"trash can, trash can"
-HAssell

"I roast heads"
-HAssell

"happy little trees...."
-kelley, while dying hair

"you people scare me."
-guy to kelley and kate at the mall

"what? lingerie?"
-a cop to jason and ryan in d.c.

"so why aren't you hanging around *mechanicsburg* tonight?"
-camp hill cops to a group of us breaking curfew

"hey josh. why don't you come up here, josh?"
-camp hill cops to a group of us breaking curfew

"'Did you like the show?' ... 'I don't know'"
-michael and amanda @ the baking horselies show

"(Casually) Do you guys wanna fight?"
-A group of wiggers to a group of us at the mall

"pretty pretty m&ms..."
-elizabeth

"Hey, can you do me a favor and mmmmmrrrrshmme mmmmmre cause you're fat"
-some girl in the Sheetz parking lot

"I can kick that high"
-Ryan, to Elizabeth

"'what grade are you people in? second?'...'um, all grades...'"
-neighboorhood crack fiends and kate at her birthday party

"'yeah, funeral music always sucks.'...'well, they won't hear it!'"
-somebody and hassell

"Hey, kids, flip over for Chicken Run fun!"
-Kate at Burger King ::snicker::

"why is erin always picking it up?! *sticks out leg and arm and looks acrobatic"
-kelley

"MAC MAC MAC MAC MAC"
-Tony

"It's a pretty lightsaber..."
-Kelley to Brenda at 4 AM

"i'm an inappropriate comma!"
-kelley at giant

"I have sensitive eyes"
-Ryan

"Big dinner idea"
-HAssell

"I don't think people are born evil. I just think they're quick learners."
-Richard Cardinale

"::sings:: Sweet little seed, i love you so, are you afraid of me why won't you grow grow grow?"
-Kate and some chimes

"Ouch, I stepped on a slut!!"
-HAssell

"I'm fine! ::waves arm::"
-Elizabeth (but it's from Vampire Hunter D)

"MEF MEF MEF MEF MEF MEF"
-What Lies Beneath

"'It looks like you have a dead mouse in your hair'...'yeah, mice have feathers'"
-*someone* and elizabeth

"ryan, you're a trucker."
-jason

"Buttercup, you stink! Take a bath!"
-The Professor to Buttercup

"Why don't you get your mommy to make you a sandwich... oh wait... SHE CAN'T!"
-Buttercup

"I want your pants!"
-Kelley

"If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em! ::puts coupon in mouth::"
-Ryan

"You look like an angel..."
-Ryan to Kelley

"You can't pee... drink a 40... you can't threesome... drink a 40!"
-Kate

"'Cause they're bees and they're scary and they're bees..."
-Kelley (and sometimes Kate too) while doing the Bee Dance

"::large thunder clap:: Rock on, God, rock on!!"
-Ryan

"That racks!"
-Kelley and Kate every five seconds

"You bounce around on your ass?? I don't like you!"
-Jason

"You live in this muthafucka? ::to kate:: You look like a pot head..."
-the weed guy

"::mockingly:: Don't you feel better now that you're squeaky clean... SHUT UP!"
-Buttercup

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh make some sense!"
-HAssell to Kate

"i need a rod or two."
-larry

"big slobby hunk of death! right over here!"
-Michael

"that didn't go qua!"
-Kelley

"It's the environment, stupid!"
-some guy's shirt at Busch Gardens

"Aeroswift... blllll bllll bleh!!!!!!!!!!"
-Jen Shade

"shupp!"
-HAssell

"'my back hurts. i wish i didn't have a back.' ..... 'that's like not having a roof!'"
-ryan and kate

"It reeks of soda, sarcasm, and toothpicks..."
-Richard Cardinale

"Kate: I always stay up this late Jason: Same here...I don't know whitey"
-Kate and Jason (of course)

"Yes. I just stood there...cheesy and motionless."
-Michael

"I like it, it's exciting."
-Jason, about daylight savings time

"When you watch a scary movie, you're scared because it's scary"
-Jason

"'we have to work on our side project' 'what's your main project then?'"
-Richard in response to Kate and Elizabeth

"Chuck: Why do you hate Christopher Reeves? Ryan: Why not?"
-Chuck and Ryan

"mcleft turn = i'm hungry."
-HAssell

"That's going on the quote board"
-Everybody every five seconds

"i'll have a doctor..."
-Jason at the Burger King drive-thru

"I want to be a tree when i grow up..."
-Kate

"I'm not listening..."
-Kate to Kelley

"I wish I had big, floppy ears...."
-Kate

"There's the lengths you can go to for comedy....and then there's you."
-Kate to Richard

"Who are you? I've gone deaf bitchbird."
-Ryan when he was hockley

"I'm too lazy to be a sidekick. I need to be sought after by raffle tickets and called pregnant Charlie."
-Ryan

"9 10 here comes the plate!"
-Kate's coloring book

"the panda zippered jumpsuits didnt prevent the silvers from collapsing into the sideways barrel"
-Elizabeth, at 2 am on Notre Dame campus

"Why don't you go dance around the maypole?"
-Brak

"You know why I hate these gloves? They're awesome."
-Richard

"Shut up. I'm the princess."
-Richard

"::points at overheard walkway:: ANYONE!!!!!!!"
-HAssell

"yep. its good he's home. brings out the jewishness in me"
-Jesse, about his brother

"Why do you have a picture of Jennifer Love Hew**::slaps self::"
-Nick

"Once I ate soap because I thought it was a crayon. 'how'd you do that?' It was shaped like a clown!"
-Ryan and Jason

"Wendell Skiball"
-Solitaire Game

"When life gives me a lemon...I turn it into some sort of weapon."
-Richard

"You know you're a Baron fan when . . ."
-The Sign

"I'll have an anarchy burger, hold the government....just kidding!!"
-Josh Reynolds at the Burger King drive-through

"It doesn't corrupt - it informs."
-Cheeser, about ichabod

"Is your toaster friendly?"
-Elizabeth

"enjoy the wintery goodness!"
-Michael

"she's so shy, she's overlapping herself!"
-Kate, about Catherine

"why is there a blue screen? *knock knock knock*"
-Mrs. Cardinale

"i want to get to know this fairy!"
-Jason, about snickerbell

"god bless you! or happy vacuuming!"
-Michael (in reply to a sneeze)

"There's your solution. Don't get upset, get naked."
-Kate to Kelley

"I'm going upstairs the crap out of this place."
-Richard Cardinale

"I know you too well to pretend to not know you."
-Richard Cardinale

"I'm the interference; I'm the sand traps."
-Kate

"You're not supposed to have fun in lose hell!"
-Kate

"You never know when you're gonna run into a jukebox..."
-The nice guy at the new coffeeshop who gave us quarters :)

"You can't get much bigger and better than the sitcom."
-Kelley

"Johnny, that's beautiful!"
-Richard Cardinale

"Rasicm is conducive to homosexuality"
-Richard Cardinale

"Look at him. He's like Nick, only funny."
-Kate discussing Ryan Stiles

"If you do something wrong, at least do it right."
-Richard's friend

"What do you think is going to happen to her Spanish?"
-HAssell about Miss Downy

"there's always one...."
-the cart guy at wal-mart

"nothing...not a sausage."
-Prof. Lappin

"One for snzzzzzccccc!"
-Kelley to Laura and HAssell

"yip yip yip does that to me!!"
-Tony (in a rather aggravated tone)

"Foo!"
-Richard Cardinale

"Take a bath!"
-Richard Cardinale

"I don't like the mafia."
-Chip

"I'm gonna wash your clock!"
-Kater

"She's one weaved mutha - Shut yo mouth! I'm just talkin' 'bout Gladys!"
-Richard Cardinale

"It's tradition!"
-the standard response to 'why are you eating an eggplant?' or 'why are you eating that grapefruit?'

"More brownies? ::tongue thing::"
-Mrs. Cardinale

"'q' is kinda odd, i think...it's like a 9 with issues"
-Kelley to HAssell

"'For instant comedy, just add hassell'"
-Richard Cardinale

"your car makes my house look small. (that should go on the quote page. too bad it's down.)"
-kate and rich

"i'm drinking a sofa"
-richard to his brother mike with me standing there in the middle

"ho-ho meat (said very, very gently)"
-dyann, to kate, repeatedly

"any day is Hampster Breath Day! ... as long as you're happy."
-kate and jason at sheetz

"There's two things I fear in life, humanity and stinging insects."
-Ryan

"I don't even believe I exist. I think I'm just a product of somebody's over-active imagination."
-Ryan

"I play with dirt!"
-HAssell

"Watch out for falling prices"
-Gurley-Leep

"Noooo playing hookey!"
-Hassell

" * gint * "
-(jerks head) Hassell

"goofy killer"
-ND ichabodders

"If I stuff Jason up my ass, does that mean I can shoot him?"
-Chuck

"Chuck: 'that fucking rain - i was about to go hardcore on my bike... BUT NOOOOO... i have to spoil your day with my wetness' Ryan: 'what a piece of shit mother nature is'"
-Chuck and Ryan

"Fat Girl: 'Do you guys have some sort of staring problem...' Ryan: 'No, but you obviously have an eating problem.'"
-Ryan And Fat Girl In Ruby Tuesday Parking Lot

"I don't fear beer!"
-Nick

"He's Super That Guy!"
-Rich (about Cheeser)

"Alone, we are nothing. But when we band together, we can become - That Guy."
-Cheeser

"The Hokey Pokey's my anthem, man!"
-Kate

"There's random piles of stuff burning....*pause*...on a hill!...next to the turnpike!"
-Cheeser and HAssell

"I can't drink this I'm Phillip"
-Nick

"it's like he's eating his face from the inside"
-Larry on shawn's snoring

"ROCK ON GOD!!!"
-Ryan to the sky

"I don't need you TADOOSH!!!!!!!!"
-Larry to Jason and kate as they were semi in a moment

"Show me the hemmie"
-what Larry heard on an insanity tape

"'Whats five times three?',.....Fish!!!!"
-Mr. Mescia and Jason discussing math

"I'm sick of movies being so realistic. This is just like a movie."
-Josh Lee reguarding Raiders of the Lost Ark

"I'm Italian. I know about passion and food."
-Jason

"fan-bloody-tastic"
-Elizabeth's British psych prof

"I should do my christmas shopping in here!"
-Nick, after entering Giant foods

"I watched you for hours"
-Nick, while chasing Ryan around like psycho in his backyard at night with a guitar

"You look like an empire"
-Nick

"I can't believe my name is Nick."
-Nick after waking up in the world while visiting Pittsburgh

"Hey I know you."
-Nick, everytime he sees someone he knows

"Look a hot goat!"
-Nick points at wall

"Larry: Is that chicken in here? Jason: No, it's my pet."
-Jason

"We need to keep moshing if only for this color scheme we have going."
-Michael at the Elizabethtown American Legion show

"Is that case for this case?"
-Nick

"If you live with someone and they say there is a monkey throwing technicolor shit at cars outside you have to believe them"
-Larry

"I am the biggest Nick who ever nicked a nick when there is nick, nick nick nick nick nick.(or something like that)"
-Nick

"When a man loves a woman..."
-Ryan's friend Michael Bolton singing 'When A Man Loves A Woman' because he lost a bet during karaoke at kokomo's in harrisburg

"Everybody respects somebody..."
-Joe Cox

"Hey there's people walking around outside on your maple trees bouncing watermelons off their feet is that allowed?"
-Nick trying to make sense

"I don't care who I play lasertag with. It doesn't matter if your my enemy or my teammate I'm going to shoot anyway."
-Joe Cox

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