Favorite Quotes

Amusing things other people have said

"The very existance of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.' "

-George Carlin

"’An airplane is a bus with wings,’ goes the grumpy old saw . . . "

-John Linnell

". . . Why do little blue midgets hit me with fish?"

-The Tick

"I’m a repairman in an imperfect world."

-Kevin McDonald

"My robots; always stalking me while I sleep!"

-Mike Nelson

"You will find that men are divided into two categories: those with eleven fingers, and those without . . . know what I mean?"

-Ernest P. Worrell

"No, life isn’t one big joke, it’s a series of 89,000 little jokes . . . "

-Richard Pryor

"What the American public doesn’t know is what makes them the American public."

-Ray Salinski

"Some think, perhaps, that it is peace which I have come to cast upon the world. They do not know that it is dissension which I have come to cast upon the world."

-Jesus of Nazareth

"Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body . . ."

-James Joyce

"The universe is made up of stories, not atoms."

-Muriel Ruckeyser

"I could be condemned to Hell for every sin but littering."

-Michael Doughty

"I don’t think it’s really the job of a person with a guitar to tell you what your political views should be."

-John Linnell

"Wow! She’s the most beautiful antichrist I have ever seen!"

-Ajax

"I wish that everything went just as I wish everything would go. I wish I didn't have a blanket on my face."

-John Linnell

"You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity."

-Monty Python

"He who wanders is not always lost."

-J.R.R. Tolkien

"Perhaps i'm old and tired, but i always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied. Look at me: I design coastlines. I got an award for Norway."

-Slartibartfast from the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

"We like to buy books because we believe we are buying the time to read them."

-Warren Zevon

"But if the god-loved and the pious were the same, my dear Euthyphro, then if the pious was being loved because it was pious, the god-loved would also be being loved because it was god-loved; and if the god-loved was god-loved because it was being loved by the gods, then the pious would also be pious because it was being loved by the gods."

-Socrates

If you want to add a quote, just ask Hassell.

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